Delusional
by littleninjin
Summary: No one can do unrequited love quite like this manipulative bastard. (m/m warning)
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Dragonball Z, the characters depicted in this fic and made no money writing this. This is an old OTP of mine. My first, actually. Brings back memories. Hope you like it. All criticism is welcome.

You like to pretend.

"Nice to see you, Trunks."

"Good to see you too, Gohan. Have a seat." I smile and do my own pretending. I'm playing civilized human at the moment. See my nice big desk? Like the nice big chair over there? My coffee tray? Look. Here's your cup. "Care to join me?"

Pause. Let the silence speak to me. Let me imagine what it says. "Sure. Smells terrific."

"Help yourself." I sit on the edge of my desk. Your arm nearly brushes against my thigh when you reach over. "Take your time."

You clear your throat. "Been training, Trunks?"

"Very hard, Gohan."

You sit back with the cup. Blow over the rim. Smile at me. You like to pretend, a lot. Like you're oblivious to me. To this. To us. But you know it's there. You're one of the most brilliant minds on the planet! Of course you know. You have to.

"Coffee, Trunks." You tilt your head.

"Ah. Can't go without."

"Never."

It's hot. It's dark. It's stimulating. It makes a person feel a little more alive. But just for a little while. "Mmm." I sip.

You watch. "Good?"

"Sure."

"Well, this was nice." You put your cup back in the tray. You smile that smile. "Thanks." You know what it does to me.

I put mine next to yours. Stand and give you my hand. Take it, yes. Look into my eyes. There. You see this? My hunger? My pain? My need? You do. I will not hide this from you. I will not pretend.

Take it.

"Always a pleasure, Gohan."

And then you let go. You turn away. You leave. You always leave. Oh, you give me a small mercy; you look over your shoulder. "Later."

But hope can be cruel. Hope can make us fools. For a moment I let you do this to me. I step forward. Lift my hand. You keep walking away. "Anytime." Anytime at all.

Then you're gone.

Look at this. Your cup - you didn't even have a sip of coffee. I can see you in the courtyard, through my office window. And, as usual, you stop to drop a few zeni in the Charity Drive box.

Damn you.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyday I get out of a bed where I was dreaming of you. I start my day thinking of you.

Wondering if you're taking a shower, like I am, now.

Wondering if you hesitate when you shave. If you use a straight razor, like me. I use the same aftershave as you. Does she buy it for you? Or do you pick it up, yourself. I wish I knew.

Damn! I nicked myself, again.

I could wear custom suits. Could have a tailor make me one for every day, for the rest of my life. But I don't. I wouldn't dream of wearing anything but the same off the rack label as you. And my black suit, this one, this is my favorite. And yours, too. After all, you wear one just like it at least twice a week. The same one for years. Sometimes... sometimes I imagine we live together and... and I'm borrowing your clothes.

But you're bigger, taller than me. And married. Married to Videl, and I'm just Trunks. Just that guy your brother grew up with.

A guy who can't stop thinking about you, no matter how much I wish I could. Oh god, Gohan! The worst part about it is how you know. You know - how can you not? I practically throw myself at you! And yet you just smile and act like I'm offering you coffee when I'm offering you everything I am.

I hope you like the carnation in my lapel. Its red, for you. Maybe you'll even drop by my office today and see it.

Please come.


	3. Chapter 3

They say confession is good for the soul. I wonder if it would be good for mine? You might send me straight to hell if I tell you what I did.

See, while you were taking a half day to chaperone your kid's field trip I wasn't working, wasn't going over any contracts or having any meetings...

Unless you count the one I had in your office...

By myself...

Nothing's missing - I swear! I left your things where I found them. Well, nearly everything. Ah, sorry Gohan. I'm really sorry.

No, I'm not. Sort of. You make me this way and I've got not choice. I want to know how you feel. What you think. I want to know everything about you. Know the secrets in your soul. So, since you don't talk about much more than the weather with me, I just looked through your desk. Saw what you kept in your drawers. Maybe I sniffed your chair a little.

Looked over half drafted schematics filled with unfinished ideas. Your ideas. You. I ran my tongue over the darkest lines. Shit... okay. That was a little much, I'll admit.

Not as bad as what I did to the spare gi you kept in your lower right hand drawer. You're going to panic because its missing for now. But I will make sure it's discretely returned where I found it. Laundered, of course.

I instantly regretted messing it up. It was probably the smell that drove me a little crazy. It was that detergent she uses in your clothes. For a moment it was like I needed to mark my territory.

I know that was totally messed up, and maybe a little disturbed. But for a little while I felt so close to you. So close to you. That's all I ever wanted.

You would never forgive me. Especially since you told me I can't pop by your house anymore. She doesn't like how often I was doing it and the fact that I was inviting myself over. Man, I know you said Videl was mad. And you were mad.

I didn't want to make you mad. I swear!


	4. Chapter 4

"Dad, how did you and mom meet?"

"On Namek. I was about to kill her or something." He gives me this look. "You know that. Did you fall in your head in the gravity room?"

Ugh. He always "misunderstands" when he doesn't want to talk about something. I scoot my lawn chair closer to his. "Okay. So, how did you guys fall in love?"

Oh, now I get the eye roll. Of course. And he says, in this monotone, rushed voice: "Your mother said she wanted to have sex. We had sex. We had you. And here we are." He shrugs.

"So all these years, and it's because of sex?"

"And you. And your sister." Another shrug. "And the gravity room."

"You always say that."

"Yeah. The truth tends to be that way." He narrows his eyes. "You sure you didn't hit your head on something?"

"Positive. Mom always goes on and on about how much you love each other when she tells me how you two got together."

"Humans like to dress things up. Love is a human way to say we want to continue our partnership. Smaller word that looks good on greeting cards. Nothing more."

"But you'd do anything to be with her, right?"

He shakes his head. "No. Not anything. Absolutely - no! There are some things I would never do. Things which are beneath the Prince of all Saiyajin."

"Not when it comes to love, though. Love makes a person do crazy things. " Really crazy... "Right?"

He gets up. He looks away, as if he can't stand to look at me. "Why would any reasonable person want someone that desperate and pathetic?"

I stay on the patio long after he's left me. He always says the same things, as if he believes them. No one thinks that way. Not really. Right, Gohan?


	5. Chapter 5

Afternoons are mostly for meetings - and don't you just love giving good... meeting. Sometimes I just give in and make sure to sit in on development and research. I'll lean back and watch one Dr Son talk multidimensional engineering, the way other guys watch strippers.

Your team thinks I come because I have to. Huh. We both know that's not true. I want to be there. You can see it when I lean forward and silently stare. You can feel it when my energy reaches out and feels yours, like a lover catching your scent in your hair.

And you let me.

You could pull your energy away. Leave the meeting room for some fake "urgent call. " If you didn't want me to, that is. Hell, you could quit. You don't have to work here; anyone would hire you. But you want to be here. You want to make me hard like this.

So why don't you just do it? I made it so easy for you. It's such a small step. Just come to me. No need for corny words and promises.

We could be so, so good.


	6. Chapter 6

So that woman came by. You know, Gohan, I am willing to put up with her. She can walk around my offices with that stuck up attitude. She can act like she's somebody special because of who she married and who she knows. She can grin at me while she digs her claws into your arm. And I enjoy it.

"Good morning Bulma." She shows me too many teeth when she smiles. "Trunks."

"What a pleasant surprise!" Mother isn't pleasantly surprised at all. She can't stand Videl. "What brings you here, this time? "

"Gohan, I think." I nod at you.

You nod back. "Hope it isn't causing any trouble. " Then you actually wince. Ouch! Videl has to really squeeze that arm, doesn't she?

"Isn't this great? " Oh, Mother is now disgusted. "I am so happy for you both. Way to keep the fire alive, honey."

While you're busy blushing, Videl is slipping me the stink eye. I don't give her the benefit of reciprocity. I salute her.

I love to watch her strut like a fool on my property. (Fruit never falls far from its tree.) I could remind her that she is the only spouse who comes here. But I enjoy the fact that she depends on me to see you.


End file.
